He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
