are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
