Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize