Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
