Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
