used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
