This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
