White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
