toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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