Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize