According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
