everyone is single if you try hard enough
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
