Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
