she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
50% drunk capacity currently
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
