I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
