I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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