I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
