i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
