Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
