...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
