did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
