So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
