I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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