My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
