"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
