i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
whose parrot is this?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
