So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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