belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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