Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
