you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
