oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize