Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Shame - the story of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
