He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Found the puke drawer
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
