She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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