I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
