Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
