.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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