Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
