you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
