no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
