then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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