Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize