Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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