A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
