a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
