Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize