i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
