Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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