He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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