There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
