Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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