You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Drake has all the answers
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
