You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
