I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
