i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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