You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
