Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
