I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
