I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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