Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize