You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
