Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
