I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
