I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize