And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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