Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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