my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize